That “weird phase” – Blogtember

Besides moving to Japan i can only pin-point one other moment when my life took a drastic turn. Let’s just say I went through a weird phase after starting a new job and breaking up with G back in college. (Just call me “Summer” from 500 days of Summer, oops!) I started dating this “bad boy”, think tall, full of tattoos and piercings (there’s really no other way to describe him), after being in relationships with good guys (G being one of them) for what seemed like forever. It felt like the right thing to do at the time, to step out of my comfort zone and try something new but boy was I wrong! I started partying and drinking — something i hadn’t done before — and staying out until the crack of dawn, because he was too cool to abide by the curfews given to me by my mom.

After a while, the whole relationship started getting a bit emotionally abusive. He would always find a way to blame everything on me and harass me for “not doing enough”. I was scared of driving at the time (haha, embarrassing!) and i didn’t have my license even though i was 19. We worked together and lived only a couple of minutes away from each other and he would always treat me like a kid for not being adult enough to drive, and for having to chauffeur me around. He would also never fail to remind me  that i wasn’t that special and that if he wanted he could be with any girl. (Um, douche)

 After battling with the voices inside my head telling me that he was right and i was wrong, i fell into a bit of a depression. I stopped talking to my friends from school and strictly hung out with people from work. I was kind of embarrassed of the type of life i was living and decided to keep my friends out of the loop, so i wouldn’t be judged by anyone else.  Another reason why i stopped seeing them was because I would see pictures on Facebook of them hanging out with G and i was so out of it and full of guilt, that i decided he deserved my friends more than i did. 

That summer he gave me an ultimatum, “i had to take my learner’s permit test before leaving for my family trip” and being the stubborn Sagittarius that i am decided to take it on the last day before our trip. After passing the test i decided enough was enough and i broke up with him before getting on that plane to D.C. The whole trip i felt free, that is until my phone would ring over and over. Calls that i ignored for the most part, until i was sick of having to click the ignore button and decided to confront him. We talked and i stood my ground. Until i saw him at a work party… then i fell down the rabbit hole again, but not for long. After having a very eye opening scare i decided that i was done with that sad excuse of myself. 

After getting rid of that black cloud that was following me around everywhere i began to feel like myself. I was seeing my friends again, my relationship with my mom got better, i started doing better in school, and i even worked up the courage to talk to G and apologize for all the hurt i caused him. Which got us to where we are today!!

Now i see this “weird phase” of mine as a much needed experience, because it made me re-evaluate where i was and where i was going, as well as take G and I’s relationship to where it needed to be. We were two totally different people before this and we ended up doing some much needed growing on our own. Every time i think back at this moment of my life i am grateful for the fact that i was able to get out.

Q: How do you see the rough patches of your past?

Do you see these trials and tribulations differently now, than you did during that time? 

Share your story below!

Day 6/20 of Blogtember!

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