A Modern Woman’s (Non-FRG) Guide to Life+Love // The Talk
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Amber from And Yes To Joy! shares her experience on what her “talk” entailed and how she became a military girlfriend. If you’re just starting this journey into military life, this post is a must-read!
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and I blog over at And Yes To Joy! I’m so excited to have the chance to talk about something I don’t normally open up about – life as an Army Girlfriend. It wasn’t until I really started networking with other bloggers that I found an entire pool of women who were in relationships just like mine!
I started dating my boyfriend, M, my sophomore year of high school. Before he decided to enlist, our relationship had been what can be considered pretty standard. He would come visit me at school almost every weekend because I was only a 45 minutes ride away, we’d talk on the phone every night and text all day. Things were going great, and everyone was happy, or so I thought. M was living at home and taking classes at a local community college, which wasn’t really where he wanted to be. So when the time came to register for a new semester, M decided that enlisting would be the better route to take.
I’m not going to lie, when I first heard the news I was more than a little upset. I didn’t understand it, and I thought the whole thing was dumb and that he was just going through a phase. I was completely unsupportive, and never tried to see things from his point of view. It took a lot of self-reflecting to realize that if I wanted my relationship to work through this, I had to stop being selfish and really talk to M about where his head was at. I needed to support him the same way that he supported me when I made big decisions in my life.
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Amber’s Advice on Dating a Man in the Military:
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If I could do that entire talk over, I would participate as an active listener. I would ask him questions, ask for clarity, and try my hardest to be understanding. If you’re currently dating or even just friends with someone who needs to sit down and have this talk with you, remember this: one day, you’re going to want to do something bold and daring with your life too, and you would want him or her to be supportive of you. Deciding to enlist isn’t an easy decision to make. It’s a commitment to giving up everything normal and familiar in your life. If there was ever a time that your significant other needed your full support, this is is!
No matter how many blog posts, interviews, or anything else you read, nothing other than the actual experience can prepare you for the things to come next. So ask questions, be as informed as you can, and remember to always always always think of the changes as positive.