A Modern Woman’s Guide to Life + Love // Long Distance Relationships
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I share my experiences with long distance relationships
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If you’re a long-time reader then you know that G, my husband, is a Marine! We’ve been married for a year and a half, but before getting hitched and moving to the other side of the world we dated for almost a year in college, broke up and fell in love all over again through our letters. Long story short, i broke up with G in a very harsh way, i went into another relationship and after ending it, i decided to step out of my comfort zone and apologize to G for my wrong doing. He was scheduled to leave for Bootcamp a couple of days after and i wanted us to mend our fences, so we went out with friends and at the end of the night we had a heartfelt conversation outside my house. We both owned up to our mistakes and ended the night with a surprise kiss. I didn’t see him again until he got back from Bootcamp, but i got his address from a friend and i wrote him almost everyday. We like to think that we fell in love all over again through our letters.
We weren’t official or anything, so i wasn’t able to fly to South Carolina and experience his Bootcamp graduation, but he came back home for a 10-day trip before leaving for another training and we had such a fun time! After that came two more basic trainings, one lasted a month (of total silence) and the next one was three months. That last one was pretty flexible and we were able to talk almost everyday. We were lucky that he got chosen to be stationed in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, because most of the guys were sent to Japan. He did approach one of the higher ranking Marines and shared why he wanted to be stationed there, and surprisingly he got it! Although NC is the closest he could’ve been to Puerto Rico (where we’re from), we were an ocean apart and that wasn’t easy.
Our relationship grew so much because of the long-distance and it’s made us appreciate all that we have now. G just celebrated three years in the Marine Corps and we feel so blessed to have each other, to be married and living in Japan, sometimes it feels like a dream.
Here’s my advice for making your long distance relationship survive
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1. Don’t listen to people that say long distance relationships don’t work!!
If both parties put all of their efforts into the relationship, it CAN work. Not only are G and I a testament of that, but a lot of military couples and non-military couples go through a period of LDR and the ones who are serious about it, make it work. There has to be trust, communication, and sacrifice coming in from both sides for it to work.
2. “Communication is the key to a good relationship”
Well in LDR communication is everything! No matter the distance, the time difference, you have to make a vow to each other that you will communicate. Whether it is scheduling a time for phone calls, texting, emailing, or more importantly Skyping.
I would always say, Skype is a blessing for the 21st Century LDR, so use it. Your ancestors did just fine dealing with their LDR when one of them joined the military or left for war, they had no choice but to trust each other and communicate through letters. My grandparents relationship has always been an inspiration in times of hardship in my own relationship! Take it from someone who communicated through letters with a Recruit for three months, it sucks. Letters would take almost a week to get to G and a week to get back to me, so if i told him about something that had happened, i had to wait two weeks to hear his response. Not fun. I do love having those letters as keepsakes, but looking back, it sucked.
3. Make the Post Office your best friend
Send care packages, especially for the holidays, if your loved one is in the military and he can’t make it home he’ll be spending the holiday time alone and that can’t be easy for them. G had to spend the first Christmas in Camp Lejeune because there was a computer problem and his leave days weren’t appearing on record. So, I sent him some christmas lights and his mom sent him a Charlie Brown christmas tree, and with our little presents i like to believe we made his christmas time a bit better. Getting surprises in the mail can cheer up just about anyone, how about sending a telegram? Yup, i sent one of these babies to G for our anniversary!
4. Nothing beats airport reunions!
The only good part about LDR is airport reunions, so get a job, set up a savings account and save, save, save! Buy a plane ticket even if it’s for a weekend trip! I travelled on Labor Day Weekend and for the Marine Corps Ball one November. In total G and i travelled to each other 7 times in the two years of our LDR. Countdowns are a LDR’s best friend!
If you have any questions or just want to talk, you can e-mail me anytime!
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If you missed the series kick off, Read all about it on the series announcement post!!
Are you beginning your journey into being a military significant other? Amber shared her experience with “the talk”! You or your significant other thinking about joining? Kayli shares all about her relationship with a Marine in The Reserves! Stay tuned because Crystal will be giving us the scoop on her engagement this Friday!!