1st Year of Marriage: What I’ve Learned


On May 14th, 2012 we said “I Do” in the courthouse, then on February 2nd, 2014 we said “I Do” in front of all our family and friends. Here’s 5 things I’ve learned about marriage since then.

1. Marriage is fun – Living with your best friend is certainly one of the best parts of being married. At the end of every day you come home to one another, you cook, clean and you cuddle on the couch together. You get obsessed with the same tv shows, you run around the house being silly, you have tickle fights, you laugh endlessly. You eat breakfast or ice cream for dinner, who cares.. you are adults. A life shared with someone you love is much sweeter than being alone and it’s awesome knowing they will be there to love you through life’s battles.

2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – So he left the toilet seat up (again!), he left the light on in “x” room, he didn’t load the dishwasher … altogether, who cares?! This year i’ve learned to let go of the little things, yes, i let him know when he’s done it again but picking a fight over something that stupid is unnecessary. We rarely fight because most things are not worth it. Pick Your Battles Wisely.

3. Decisions, Decisions – Married Life comes with lots of decisions that are meant to be made together. Hear each other out, be a good listener, respect your partners opinion and let decisions come by simply talking. He is your #1 person and you are his. You are a family now and all the decisions/plans you make will be shared.

4. It’s Okay to go to Bed Angry – I’ve always been told to “never go to bed angry”, but i’ve learned that my husband likes to cool off from an argument by sleeping. I on the other hand like to make problems disappear by talking about everything. We deal with fights differently and if i decide to verbally vomit on him, i also have to meet him in the middle and let him cool off in whatever way he deems fit. On another hand i believe that even if we’re arguing we should never sleep apart. You have to force your mad self back to bed because arguments will happen. It’s marriage. If you go to bed angry be sure to talk about your argument the next day, don’t leave anything unresolved. Communicate.

5. Take Advantage of the Circumstances Life Brings  – Most of the times life doesn’t work out the way we want it to. No matter what life throws to you, it is important to make the best of it. For example, we didn’t want to come to Japan when we first got the news of Gustavo’s PCS but making the best of this situation has made a big difference in how we’ve spent our time here. Most people hate it here, they don’t leave the military bases but when you decide to take on what God puts in front of you together, you learn to love your circumstances.

These are just 5 things i’ve learned since that day, I am sure there are other things i’ve learned besides the  ones i listed above, but i feel like these are the most important. Looking back it feels like we said “I Do” just yesterday. This year flew by and i can’t wait to see what God has in store for us on our second year as husband and wife.

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Hi! I'm Laura, the girl behind Little Island Takara. I am a military wife and American expat living in Okinawa, Japan! Most days you will find me reading books, wondering what cafe to go to next or daydreaming of my next adventure.

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  • I totally agree with "it's ok to go to bed angry." My husband is the same as yours and needs to cool off before resolving a conflict with me. 5 years of marriage, and I learned that the hard way! Great that you figured it out in the first!

  • These are great lessons. I'm only 6 months into my marriage, but I do find that I'm learning something new almost every day. Thanks for sharing. 🙂